witches Posts

15Jun
0

Rabunzal The Rabbit-Girl

Once upon a time, a cranky witch got new neighbors. There was an even crankier woman who happened to be with child, and her husband. Now, the witch had the most fantastic vegetable garden in the whole village, which she protected with a giant wall and her general cranky attitude. Everyone in the village knew to stay away from the witch’s garden, no matter how plump her tomatoes got, or how brightly her yellow squash shone.

Everyone, except, of course for the new neighbors.

The witch knew they were sneaking into her garden at night, stealing her prize carrots. She was almost insulted to think they thought they were fooling her. Finally, it got to be enough.

The child had been born–the witch could hear it crying. She also heard a rustling in her garden, and walked out to find the man from next door filling his arms with carrots. He immediately fell to his knees and begged, agreeing to give her anything she wanted, even his own newborn child, if she would only not cast her spells on him. So she agreed, thinking it a joke, but the joke was on her.

Apparently, the girl had been born with the two longest ears anyone had ever seen. They stretched from her head nearly to her toes, just like a rabbit.

At first, this was a welcome surprise. The witch realized she’d been a little rash to agree to the proposal, and that she didn’t know much about raising children. Having a pet, on the other hand, was a challenge she felt up to.

So, she named the girl Rabunzel, and kept her in a large hutch. She fed her carrots and lettuce, and affixed a water bottle to the side of her hutch.

This worked out well for some time. But one day, the witch noticed something. She’d never had a rabbit problem before, but suddenly, they were everywhere. Eating her vegetables, digging up her plants, sniffing around Rabunzal’s hutch. Something had to be done.

So the witch built a tower that reached high into the air, and built Rabunzal a new, bigger hutch atop it. Whenever she needed to feed the rabbit-girl or bring her more water, she would signal to the her to let down her ears and then she would climb up. For a while, it was just like old times.

Things were going so well, she ignored the rustling at night, the sounds that sounded suspiciously like bunny hops, the faint outline of teeth marks on her tomatoes.

She tried not to notice that Rabunzal seemed less excited to see her, did not wiggle her nose as frequently, did not devour her carrots like she used to.

But she couldn’t ignore it any longer when she returned home to see rabbits, white and brown, and black and tan, scampering up and down the tower! The hutch door was open, the hutch itself empty. In the dirt, amidst the the rabbits hopping away, she could make out several sets of two large feet, as if a giant rabbit had long hopped away as well.

And yet, when she returned to her house, one carrot, carefully chosen, lay on her table. She knew the rabbit-girl might hop back to her yet.

The End.

Source: Rapunzel, Brothers Grimm

Posted by Beatrix Cottonpants in Fairy Tales and tagged with , , , , , , , , ,
15Jun
0

Hansel and Gretel, Creepiest Twins Ever

Once upon a time, there were a brother and sister called Hansel and Gretel. Hansel and Gretel were more than just a brother and sister…they were twins (you thought I was going to something else, didn’t you? For shame.). In fact, they were as close as twins who are not identical could be. They dressed alike. They finished each other’ s sentences, that is, when they weren’t speaking in unison. They referred to each other as “Brother, dear!” and “Sister, mine”. It was really sort of eerie.

Now, Hansel and Gretel lived with their father and stepmother in a small cottage they were quickly outgrowing. One night, unbeknown to the twins, their parents had a conversation. The conversation was regarding Hansel and Gretel themselves, and how they were becoming too large to live in the house, and how a new house could not be afforded and well, the kids would have to be off on their own way. And okay, maybe there were arrangements that could be made, but the fact of the matter was that besides being too large for their little beds, they were creepy and annoying.

The twins heard none of that conversation. What they did overhear, however, was the conversation their parents had the very next night, the one where they agreed to go for a drive the next day, kick the kids out of the car, and abandon them. And so, when they were told the next day that they were going on a road trip, they smiled and said nothing. When their father pretended to be lost, they fretted and said nothing. And when they were asked to get out of the car and look for directions, they complied and said nothing.

Once they were out of the car, however, Hansel explained to his sister that the whole time, he’d been dropping crumbs from the window, to make a trail they could follow back. Gretel exclaimed that she, too, had done the same thing, and that with two trails to follow, they’d certainly make it home again.

Except…when they reached the road, they were greeted with a terrible sight. There were no crumbs! In the distance, they could make out shapes on the road and soon discovered a veritable trail of dead birds. Oh! The poor things must have stopped to eat the crumbs, and been killed for their troubles. The most unfortunate thing, however, was that many of the birds had obviously made off with their food, so there was not even a trail of dead birds to follow home.

Hansel and Gretel wandered for some time, lost and hungry. One day, though, they stumbled upon something amazing. A house made of candy! Even though neither was fond of candy (they preferred beefy jerky and salted crackers), they attacked the house like children who had not eaten in several hours.

They were soon interrupted, however, by the owner of the house herself. She came out, waving a large candy cane, and shouting obscenities, crying that it was never okay to eat another person’s house, no matter how hungry one was, and did they know how much work it took to build a house of candy, much less maintain it? She had just about chased the twins off her sugar glazed property when she stopped, and spoke softly, saying that maybe they could come in after all.

She gave them proper food and water, and then made this deal: In exchange for repairing the damage they had done, Hansel and Gretel could live at the house and have three meals a day. They stayed with the old woman for quite some time, since, as she had told them, it was quite a lot of work to build a candy house.

But after a while, Gretel started to notice something odd. The more they worked, the more Hansel ate, sampling shingles and tasting tiles. Gretel, however, had no appetite for sweets. Something was very wrong! She and Hansel had never differed in opinion on such a matter. She began to suspect that Hansel was under a spell, and that the witch (for she had determined that the woman must be a witch) meant Hansel some terrible harm.

Her suspicions were confirmed the very next day, when the old woman asked Hansel to remove some chocolate she was cooking in her oven. Hansel approached the huge stove, plump from all the candy he had been eating, when Gretel realized…she meant to eat him! That was her plan all along! Without thinking, Gretel shoved the old woman, and she fell screaming into the oven.

That night, Hansel and Gretel enjoyed a meal of salted witch carcass and crackers, and they lived happily ever after, in the eeriest way possible.

The End.

Source: Hansel and Gretel, Brothers Grimm

Posted by Beatrix Cottonpants in Fairy Tales and tagged with , , , , , , , , , , ,