spiders Posts

Miss Muffet Admits Defeat

Once upon a time, one Little Miss Muffet helped herself to a heaping plate of delicious lasagna and found a comfortable armchair in which to eat it.

However, just as she was about to sit down and enjoy her meal, Someone called out and stopped her.

No!” Someone shouted. “That is an armchair! You must sit upon a tuffet!”

“A tuffet?”

“A tuffet.”

“And what, pray tell, is a tuffet?”

“That is a tuffet,” Someone said, and suddenly what looked like an ottoman without any legs appeared before her. “Also, half a bushel.”

“What?”

“Nevermind.”

The tuffet did not look nearly as comfortable as the armchair.

“And who are you to tell me to sit upon a tuffet?” asked our stubborn (and hungry) Miss Muffet.

“The Narrator,” The Narrator replied.

“Oh,” said Miss Muffet, and then sat upon the tuffet.

It took some time to get comfortable, but once she had, she once again picked up that delicious lasagna.

“No!” The Narrator shouted. “That is lasagna! You must eat curds and whey!”

“Curds and whey?”

“Curds and whey.”

“And what, pray tell, are curds and whey?”

“This is curds and whey, ” the Narrator said said, and suddenly, a bowl of what looked like cottage cheese floating in milky water appeared before her.

Miss Muffet took one look at the curds and whey, and decided she had had enough of the whole situation. She left with a bit of a stomp and a grumble.

Sometime later…

Along came a spider, who landed on the armchair and helped himself to the lasagna. It was delicious.

The End.

Source: Little Miss Muffet, English Nursery Rhyme.

The Little Toy Rabbit

Once upon a time, there was a very special rabbit. He was bright red and made of plastic, with wheels beneath his feet and long string, for pulling, attached to his head.

But the very special rabbit had a secret.

More than anything else, the toy rabbit wanted to be a toy spider. You see, the rabbit lived in a room with two little girls and several other toys. The most popular toy around was the plastic spider. The spider was many different colors. The spider also had wheels and a string for pulling.

One day, the rabbit heard whispers coming from something nearby. Then, the stuffed bear next to him cleared his throat, and told the rabbit quite loudly that there was someone in the closet who could make any wish come true. Any wish at all.

However, there was one serious problem. The closet in question was all the way on the other side of the room. Without the help of having the string pulled, the rabbit could only keep up a very slow pace. And of course, the children who could pull the string were busy with the toy spider.

It took days, but the toy rabbit made it, and entered the closet. The darkness enveloped him as the door closed. Above him, he could feel the draft of heavy clothes swinging, and the smell of moth balls hurt his nose. But deeper into the closet he ventured, until he reached the shadowy figure sitting against the wall all the way in the back.

“Why have you come here?” The voice was ancient, authoritative. The rabbit was nervous, but he explained his desire.

” I see,” said the voice. Then there was a cough, and a cloud of dust. The shadowy figure began to move into the light, and the rabbit found himself facing a relatively tall stuffed elephant.

“Let’s see,” the elephant said, rather cheerfully. His voice had become much higher since the cough. “Take two of these and see me in the morning.”

The rabbit spent much of the night just outside the closet. He tried to sleep after taking the tablets the elephant had given him, but they burned going down. By the middle of the night, he felt like his plastic was melting.

He returned the next morning fully intending to tell off the elephant for whatever crock he’d fed him, but when he arrived at the back of the closet, the elephant just grinned and held up a mirror.

The rabbit had eight legs. He remained a red plastic rabbit on top, but underneath, eight bright red legs had grown, all with wheels at the end.

“There’s still some work to do,” the elephant admitted, “but you’re coming along nicely.”

This time, the rabbit made his way proudly to the other side of the room. He couldn’t wait for the children to see what he was becoming.

But something was wrong. He noticed it immediately — the ever popular spider was still sitting on the toy box, looking as if he hadn’t been touched all day. A shrill noise broke the silence, and the rabbit looked over at its source.

The children were fussing over a new plastic puppy. It had no wheels. It had no string for pulling. But it barked, and moved its head from left to right.

The rabbit didn’t know what else to do, so he slowly made his way back to the closet.

“Why, that’s easy,” the elephant said, after the rabbit had explained the problem. “You just have to kill the kids.”

The elephant offered no explanation, just grinned and slunk back into the shadows.

For a moment, the rabbit was very conflicted. How could he kill the very children whose attention he so needed? Did they really deserve it?

But then, the rabbit had a revelation.

The spider had been easily replaced by a puppy. He could be unpopular as a rabbit just as easily as a spider.

And then, the rabbit had a second revelation.

He was still made of plastic. And the elephant was plush.

So he rolled into the elephant’s side and grabbed a few tablets.

That night, he fell asleep with a burning feeling in his stomach, waiting for his legs to become wheels.

The End.

Source: The Little Mermaid, Hans Christian Andersen.