rabbits Posts

19Jan
1

The Snow Bunny, Ctd.

Once upon a time, a wicked rabbit broke his racist mirror and persuaded a boy named Kay to help him take over the world with an army of robot rabbits.

Kay’s disappearance did not sit well with his good friend, Gerda.

Back at home, Gerda  wished that Kay were dead. The sparrows, the swans, and even one squirrel (but not the others) told her she was being unreasonable, but she persisted in wishing upon her friend a number of gory ends.

After a while, she got tired of sitting around and wishing and decided to set off in search of Kay. She left that very night, and it was not because of what the sparrows and the swans and the squirrel might say, no matter what you think. Though it is worth noting that they were asleep when she left.

Of course, night is not really the best time for a little girl to travel, and she was soon beset upon by robbers. Luckily she did not have much of value on her to steal, and even more luckily, one of the few things she did have on her person was a samurai sword. She quickly dispatched the robbers, and was surprised to hear someone clapping behind her.

Behind her stood another girl, dressed like the robbers, who held her own samurai sword. Before Gerda knew it, she was engaged in a very close match, but just as she was sure her very life was about to flash before her eyes, the girl stopped. And laughed. She explained then that while she had enjoyed the fight, she had never really intended to kill gerda. Then she asked if she could join her on her quest.

Gerda agreed, and they set off together

She told the robber girl about Kay, and the other girl, to her relief, did not suggest she refrain from killing him. They traveled together quite peacefully after that, until they came to a beautiful palace. Inside, they were told, was a princess about their same age.

So they went to visit the princess and spent some time talking to her and combing her hair. The princess had only brothers, so she was glad of the female company, even if Gerda and the robber girl were not particularly pleasant. However, it also seemed as though the little princess had a secret, and the third time she excused herself from their teatime, the girls followed her down to the dungeon, where they found her tending to a robotic rabbit with red glowing eyes.

“We must have that!” the robber girl decided, and Gerda agreed.

So they demanded the rabbit, and the princess refused and began to cry. They argued until they realized the rabbit had gone, and they put aside their differences to follow it together. The journey was long and unpleasant, but they finally trackexd thr rabbit to another dungeon.

And in that dungeon were dozens of robot rabbits, all with glowing red eyes.

The End. For now…

Source: The Snow Queen, Hans Christian Andersen.

Posted by Beatrix Cottonpants in Fairy Tales and tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
10Jan
2

The Snow Bunny

Once upon a time, a rather nasty little rabbit broke a mirror. Now, our rabbit was superstitious as well as nasty, so naturally, he became quite worried about what seven years of bad luck might bring. So naturally, he did the nastiest thing he could, and threw the broken shards of mirror from a high place, so that some went into plants or lakes, or even into people.

And of course, this was no ordinary mirror. It was a racist mirror.

When the mirror broke and shards were scattered all about, people began to feel terrible and mean and no one could figure out why.
Which is how the fight between Gerda and Kay got started.

They were having a perfectly nice time throwing vegetables at passing cars when suddenly they both began to feel mean and uncomfortable. They started fighting over nothing things, and finally, Gerda gave up on their game and went home. Which makes what Kay did later more understandable if not excuseable. He was, after all, very bored.

That night, a white rabbit with red eyes appeared just outside his window.

“Are you like a snow bunny?” Kay asked, for the rabbit was indeed hopping around in the snow, in a very menacing way.

“I am the great snow rabbit!” He said, and spat on the ground. “I am very powerful, very wicked. And great”

Once that was settled, the rabbit inquired whether Kay wanted to participate in devious and evil acts. Kay agreed readily, and after some time tripping people inthe street and stealing candy from the weaker looking children, the snow rabbit revealed to Kay his terrible plan. You see, the rabbit had been very saddened by the loss of his racist mirror, and he had begun a project to distract himself.

Down in the snow rabbit’s basement, Kay found, were one hundred rabbit robots with metal fangs and red lasers for eyes.
Kay saw immediately what he was doing.

“But once you have taken over the world and claimed all the Bacon for yourself,” he asked, ” what will you do?”

” Oh, you will see,” the snow rabbit promised, and he rubbed his paws together in a menacing way. “You will see.”

The End. For now…

Source: The Snow Queen, Hans Christian Andersen.

Posted by Beatrix Cottonpants in Fairy Tales and tagged with , , , , , , , , ,
15Jun
0

The Little Toy Rabbit

Once upon a time, there was a very special rabbit. He was bright red and made of plastic, with wheels beneath his feet and long string, for pulling, attached to his head.

But the very special rabbit had a secret.

More than anything else, the toy rabbit wanted to be a toy spider. You see, the rabbit lived in a room with two little girls and several other toys. The most popular toy around was the plastic spider. The spider was many different colors. The spider also had wheels and a string for pulling.

One day, the rabbit heard whispers coming from something nearby. Then, the stuffed bear next to him cleared his throat, and told the rabbit quite loudly that there was someone in the closet who could make any wish come true. Any wish at all.

However, there was one serious problem. The closet in question was all the way on the other side of the room. Without the help of having the string pulled, the rabbit could only keep up a very slow pace. And of course, the children who could pull the string were busy with the toy spider.

It took days, but the toy rabbit made it, and entered the closet. The darkness enveloped him as the door closed. Above him, he could feel the draft of heavy clothes swinging, and the smell of moth balls hurt his nose. But deeper into the closet he ventured, until he reached the shadowy figure sitting against the wall all the way in the back.

“Why have you come here?” The voice was ancient, authoritative. The rabbit was nervous, but he explained his desire.

” I see,” said the voice. Then there was a cough, and a cloud of dust. The shadowy figure began to move into the light, and the rabbit found himself facing a relatively tall stuffed elephant.

“Let’s see,” the elephant said, rather cheerfully. His voice had become much higher since the cough. “Take two of these and see me in the morning.”

The rabbit spent much of the night just outside the closet. He tried to sleep after taking the tablets the elephant had given him, but they burned going down. By the middle of the night, he felt like his plastic was melting.

He returned the next morning fully intending to tell off the elephant for whatever crock he’d fed him, but when he arrived at the back of the closet, the elephant just grinned and held up a mirror.

The rabbit had eight legs. He remained a red plastic rabbit on top, but underneath, eight bright red legs had grown, all with wheels at the end.

“There’s still some work to do,” the elephant admitted, “but you’re coming along nicely.”

This time, the rabbit made his way proudly to the other side of the room. He couldn’t wait for the children to see what he was becoming.

But something was wrong. He noticed it immediately — the ever popular spider was still sitting on the toy box, looking as if he hadn’t been touched all day. A shrill noise broke the silence, and the rabbit looked over at its source.

The children were fussing over a new plastic puppy. It had no wheels. It had no string for pulling. But it barked, and moved its head from left to right.

The rabbit didn’t know what else to do, so he slowly made his way back to the closet.

“Why, that’s easy,” the elephant said, after the rabbit had explained the problem. “You just have to kill the kids.”

The elephant offered no explanation, just grinned and slunk back into the shadows.

For a moment, the rabbit was very conflicted. How could he kill the very children whose attention he so needed? Did they really deserve it?

But then, the rabbit had a revelation.

The spider had been easily replaced by a puppy. He could be unpopular as a rabbit just as easily as a spider.

And then, the rabbit had a second revelation.

He was still made of plastic. And the elephant was plush.

So he rolled into the elephant’s side and grabbed a few tablets.

That night, he fell asleep with a burning feeling in his stomach, waiting for his legs to become wheels.

The End.

Source: The Little Mermaid, Hans Christian Andersen.

Posted by Beatrix Cottonpants in Fairy Tales and tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , ,
15Jun
0

Rabunzal The Rabbit-Girl

Once upon a time, a cranky witch got new neighbors. There was an even crankier woman who happened to be with child, and her husband. Now, the witch had the most fantastic vegetable garden in the whole village, which she protected with a giant wall and her general cranky attitude. Everyone in the village knew to stay away from the witch’s garden, no matter how plump her tomatoes got, or how brightly her yellow squash shone.

Everyone, except, of course for the new neighbors.

The witch knew they were sneaking into her garden at night, stealing her prize carrots. She was almost insulted to think they thought they were fooling her. Finally, it got to be enough.

The child had been born–the witch could hear it crying. She also heard a rustling in her garden, and walked out to find the man from next door filling his arms with carrots. He immediately fell to his knees and begged, agreeing to give her anything she wanted, even his own newborn child, if she would only not cast her spells on him. So she agreed, thinking it a joke, but the joke was on her.

Apparently, the girl had been born with the two longest ears anyone had ever seen. They stretched from her head nearly to her toes, just like a rabbit.

At first, this was a welcome surprise. The witch realized she’d been a little rash to agree to the proposal, and that she didn’t know much about raising children. Having a pet, on the other hand, was a challenge she felt up to.

So, she named the girl Rabunzel, and kept her in a large hutch. She fed her carrots and lettuce, and affixed a water bottle to the side of her hutch.

This worked out well for some time. But one day, the witch noticed something. She’d never had a rabbit problem before, but suddenly, they were everywhere. Eating her vegetables, digging up her plants, sniffing around Rabunzal’s hutch. Something had to be done.

So the witch built a tower that reached high into the air, and built Rabunzal a new, bigger hutch atop it. Whenever she needed to feed the rabbit-girl or bring her more water, she would signal to the her to let down her ears and then she would climb up. For a while, it was just like old times.

Things were going so well, she ignored the rustling at night, the sounds that sounded suspiciously like bunny hops, the faint outline of teeth marks on her tomatoes.

She tried not to notice that Rabunzal seemed less excited to see her, did not wiggle her nose as frequently, did not devour her carrots like she used to.

But she couldn’t ignore it any longer when she returned home to see rabbits, white and brown, and black and tan, scampering up and down the tower! The hutch door was open, the hutch itself empty. In the dirt, amidst the the rabbits hopping away, she could make out several sets of two large feet, as if a giant rabbit had long hopped away as well.

And yet, when she returned to her house, one carrot, carefully chosen, lay on her table. She knew the rabbit-girl might hop back to her yet.

The End.

Source: Rapunzel, Brothers Grimm

Posted by Beatrix Cottonpants in Fairy Tales and tagged with , , , , , , , , ,