horses Posts

15Jun
0

H.D. WallSitter Sits On a Wall

Once upon a time, an egg called H. D. WallSitter fell from the top of a wall.

And it was no ordinary fall. Mr. WallSitter spent quite a lot of time sitting on walls, after all, and had some experience falling off them.

This was, in fact, a Great Fall. He had never had one of THOSE before.

He promptly broke into pieces, and was so distraught he hardly noticed when all the king’s horses and all the king’s men arrived to perform emergency surgery. Or, when an actual surgeon showed up to piece him back together again.

It was only later, when the anesthesia was starting to wear off, the Mr. WallSitter realized one of the king’s horses had never left. This horse was wearing pinstriped pants and a gray vest. He had a pocket watch in his hoof.

“You know, Mr. WallSitter,” the horse said. “That wall you were sitting on, I’d say it didn’t look fit for sitting upon. Not fit for sitting upon at all. Tell me, was there a sign?”

“A sign?”

“Telling you not to sit upon the wall?”

“Not at all!”

“Had you received any warnings about staying away from the wall?”

“Not at all!”

“Then, Mr. WallSitter, I think I can make you a very rich egg indeed.”

The egg drifted off to sleep at that point, but the next day, he called the king’s horse and asked him to represent him in a lawsuit against the city for allowing the wall to become unfit for sitting upon.

He did become a very rich egg, and immediately had plans drafted for the construction of his very own wall.

The End

Source: Humpty Dumpty, English Nursery Rhyme

Posted by Beatrix Cottonpants in Nursery Rhymes and tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
15Jun
0

This Sneaky Horse

Once upon a time, there was a horse. Now, many horses, if not most horses, are sweet and hard working. This horse was not. This horse was lazy and bad tempered. More than anything else in the world, he loved food, and he hating cleaning and lifting heavy things.

But, it wasn’t just any food he loved. While other horses settled for hay and lumps of sugar, this horse lived for pigs-in-a-blanket, tiny pizzas, and miniature bacon lettuce and tomato sandwiches. While other horses ate off the grass, this particular horse ate only off metal trays carried by waiters in matching outfits.

However, in the part of the world where he lived, horses were only rarely invited to parties where hors d’ oeuvres were served. Especially lazy, bad tempered horses.

So, the horse had learned to be a bit sneaky as well. He waited by low windows. He barked like a really large dog. He signed his name to guest lists whenever he could, but his signature always came out looking like a big hoof print and no one could read it.

He needed something more definite. He needed a human suit.

After a party one night, the horse snuck around back to the door where the waiters were leaving. Luckily, one of the waiters had abandoned his black and white outfit. With glee, the horse grabbed the jacket and ran home with it.

The very next day, he was early for a party at the same house. He was immediately handed a plate of chicken wings, and they were gone before he reached the floor.

The whole night passed in a similar manner. Miniature hot dogs, pizzas, sandwiches. Pierogies, dumplings, shrimp. The horse was more stuffed than he had ever been.

Towards the end of the night, someone called the horse over. He froze. Had he been caught? The man called again, and the horse did his best to trot over on two legs. Everyone else was leaving for the night.

“You’re the lucky one, tonight,” the man said. “You look big and strong enough to clean and pack up all these tables. Meet me outside when you’re done.”

The horse looked around. There were many, many tables. It was going to take him all night.

The End.

Source: The Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing, Aesop

Posted by Beatrix Cottonpants in Fables and tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , ,