Once upon a time there was a handsome prince, the very same handsome prince who had traveled over the mountain in search of the famed Banana Princess, and had in fact won her hand in marriage.
However, after the wedding, he did not proclaim the news across the kingdom. Here’s why:
Although his father was a nice enough fellow, his mother was a shark. Literally, a shark. She lived in a tank outside their palace. The prince never fully understood how his father had come to marry a shark, (except that it had something to do with money and some suspect pictures), or, indeed, how their union had produced himself, the prince.
In any event, the Queen the shark was nearly always hungry, and the prince had noticed a gleam in her eyes whenever lovely young women or little children walked by. So he resolved to never let her know about his wife or the children they were sure to have.
Until, years later, when his father the King died in battle. Now in possession of the kingdom, the prince was blessed with an unfounded sense of security, and told everyone about his family. He was called into battle himself soon after, and arranged to have his Queen and their children (called, in a rather confusing way, Horse and Pony) moved into the palace so his mother could keep an eye on them from her tank.
The very day he left, Horse visited her grandmother in her tank. She ran around the edges for some time before tripping over a strategically placed bottle of ketchup and falling into the tank.
When she did not return that evening, Pony went out to look for her. When he could not find her outside, he crawled up the side of the tank to ask his grandmother if she had seen his sister. However, before he could even get the words out, he tripped over some lemon wedges and fell into the tank himself.
Now, the Queen the shark knew it would only be a matter of time before the children’s mother came looking for them. But she couldn’t wait. What had the two children been but an appetizer? She’d hardly had to chew either of them.
So she sent her favorite clerk into the palace, with orders to kill the new Queen and bring her to the tank. When he returned with a plate of cooked venison, she was almost fooled. Until she heard the new Queen’s great honking laugh from inside the palace. She demanded the Queen be brought before her, and almost immediately, it was so. The girl crawled up to the top of the tank ,precariously balanced next to the caramel she’d set aside for the occasion.
She took a step towards it and then…cartwheeled over the mess and onto the other side. The trap had been foiled! To make matters worse, she then flung her long hair into the tank, and lassoed the Queen’s body. Immediately, the shark felt herself retch and up came the two little children! They were dazed and smelled of ketchup, lemons, and fish, but otherwise looking quite well off.
When the King returned, he was rather sad to hear of the stomach troubles his mother was experiencing, as a result of having her snacks lassoed out of her, but did think she’d sort of brought it on herself.
The End.
Source: Sleeping Beauty, Charles Perrault
