animal stories Posts

15Jun
0

With a Big Fluffy Tail

Once upon a time, a girl and her brother lived with their stepmother, who was not at all nice to them. She would call them names and stick her tongue out at them, and sometimes even give them noogies.

Once they got a little older, they decided they had had enough and ran away from home, bringing with them only what they could carry. They left in the night, while their stepmother snored and muttered something about donkeys in her sleep.

After a long night and long day of traveling, the two became tired and thirsty. But at the first stream they discovered, a fish wearing glasses popped out and said quite clearly:

“Don’t drink the water. It will give you a big fluffy tail, like a squirrel!”

So the girl pulled back, but her brother drank deeply. When he stood up, he did indeed have a big fluffy tail, just like a squirrel. He had a hard time controlling it at first, and it kept brushing against his sister’s face, making her sneeze.

After a while, it got so bad, they had to stop so she could sit down and blow her nose repeatedly, and her brother resolved to get her some water. So he went off to get some, and while he was gone, a friendly chipmunk hopped over and told her,

“Don’t you drink that water! It will turn you into a kangaroo!”

She told her brother immediately when he returned, but he only shrugged and then drank the water himself.

And turned into a kangaroo.

With a big fluffy squirrel tail.

He asked if she wanted to ride some of the way in his pouch, but she declined.

Finally, they came to a little house with a stream running next to it. There didn’t seem to be anyone there, but for a bird who sat in the tree just outside.

“Don’t drink the water,” the bird said. “It will turn you into a llama. The tap water inside is just fine, though.”

The girl turned to tell her brother, but he was already drinking the water from the stream. When he came up for air, he did indeed have the head of a llama. With the body of a kangaroo, and a big fluffy squirrel tail.

“There’s good water inside, you know,” she said. Her brother just shrugged, and hopped into the house.

For a while, they were actually pretty happy. It was a nice house, in a nice little area, with a faucet and a stocked fridge. Every day they went for walks, and watched animals who drank from the stream turn into llamas.

But one day, the house’s owner came home. The girl and her brother fled into the woods, and watched as their home was taken back by a man with the head of a llama, and his dog with the head of a llama. Every day, though, when the man and his dog went for a walk, the brother sneaked back in and came out with food.

Except one day, the man saw him. He watched from just outside as a kangaroo with the head of a llama and tail of a squirrel sneaked into the house, removed a loaf of bread and some turkey, and hopped back into the woods. He watched as the creature stopped and set out the food for the prettiest girl he had ever seen, and then ate his out of a little bowl.

He watched a few more times, but one day went over to talk to them. He explained that he was really a king, but he was so embarrassed at having been turned into a llama that he hid out in the woods. He asked the girl to marry him.

At first, she was conflicted. She didn’t know if she believed his royal claim. And, even if he was really a king, did she really want to marry something with a llama’s head? But she did love the house, and besides, her own brother had the head of a llama now, and she couldn’t very well discriminate against others of his kind.

So she agreed, with the stipulation that her brother was able to stay with them as well.

“That’s just fine,” the king said. “My sister needs to stay with us as well.”

Next to him, the dog nodded.

The End. For now…

Source: Brother and Sister, Brothers Grimm

Posted by Beatrix Cottonpants in Fairy Tales and tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
15Jun
0

Three Gruffsome Goats

Once upon a time, there was a troll who lived under a bridge. Now, this was a troll who lived for quiet. He liked nothing better than to curl up on the couch with a nice book and a hot cup of tea. Unfortunately, living under a creaky bridge, the troll often found his quiet time interrupted by the “creeeeaaak creeeeaak” of the bridge swinging in the wind or the “trip trap trip trap” of his neighbors in the animal kingdom crossing the bridge.

Being a clever troll, he managed to keep things under control by hopping on top of his bridge and threatening to eat the trespasser in question unless he or she could offer up a better substitute. They invariably did, and never crossed the bridge themselves again.

Recently, however, the troll had encountered a more serious problem: three little goats by the name of Gruffsome. Now, the three billygoats Gruffsome lived just north of the bridge, and they spent many a summer day running back and forth across it, jumping and stomping and yelling until the troll thought he might have to eat his own ears just to get some quiet. More worrisome still, the three little Gruffsomes were clever, and had long called his bluff: when he threatened the little one, the little one would tell him to wait for his older brother. The older brother would tell him to wait for his oldest brother, and the oldest brother would swear an elephant or some otherwise imaginary but delicious animal was on the way.

The troll didn’t really want to kill and eat any of the goats, but he was starting to think he didn’t have any other options.

He decided first to try other threats. Give them homework! Make them clean! Tell their mother! But the little goats just laughed and ran away, only to come trip-trapping back over the bridge moments later.

He tried to make the bridge as inhospitable as possible, by cooking bad smelling things and turning his television all the way up. But the little goats ignored it all, running back and forth over the bridge.

He tried to engage the little goats in awkward conversation, figuring they’d be so bored they’d never return, but instead, all three began to seek him out, to tell him about missing teeth and trips to the hillside and surprisingly late bedtimes.

Why would nothing work? Finally, he got so frustrated, so angry, he lost his temper, and pulled the bridge down with his bare hands. He had an uncomfortable fall, but the bridge came down, and after that, there was no more activity above to interrupt his rest.

He should have been happy. But, as time passed, he found himself listening for the “trip trap, trip trap” of the three little goats. How hard could it be, he wondered, to build a bridge?

Source: The Three Billy Goats Gruff, Norwegian Folktale

Posted by Beatrix Cottonpants in Folktales and tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
15Jun
0

Jackson, Ferret and Hypocrite

Once upon a time, there a lived a king and a queen who very much wanted a child.  Any child.

Or, a pet.  After hoping and thinking and wishing for some time, the queen conceded that she’d be happy with even just a ferret.

Sometimes, you really do have to be careful what you wish for, especially if you are prone to wishing out loud. You never know who’s listening.

Nine months later, the queen gave birth to a ferret.

Considering all the wishing and whatnot, the queen and king decided to make the best of the situation and lavished upon the ferret all the love they would have lavished upon some innocent boy or girl.  They named him Jackson. They dressed him up in little suits and told him he was the smartest and most handsome boy around.

In time, Jackson grew, so that one day he stood as tall as his parents.  But he was still, you know, a ferret.  A very tall ferret.

And one day, Jackson the very tall ferret decided he needed to find true love, and informed his parents of his plan to do so.

Now, his parents knew that Jackson might have a hard time of it, since human girls were so rarely interested in marrying fully grown ferrets. However, they couldn’t hurt his pride by telling him so, and instead tried to warn him:

“Girls may be intimidated because they aren’t as smart as you.”

Or:

“Girls may be afraid because they’ve never seen anyone as handsome as you.”

They were very surprised to hear that the very first nobleman Jackson had encountered had offered up his second daughter.

Here’s what they didn’t know:

Some time ago, the nobleman had thrown a party, and failed to invite one of the faeries.

But another faery, who was at the party, had had a little too much fun, and turned his second daughter into a ferret.

Jackson found out about this just in time to temporarily cancel the wedding, and consult every holy man, magic man, and veterinarian in town about the state of his bride to be.

The vet gave him eye drops.

The holy man gave him holy water.

The magic man gave him a bag of mysterious powder.

That night, Jackson sneaked into the other ferret’s room and sprinkled all three substances over her. Then he closed the door behind him, and waited patiently for morning.

He never did find out which had done it, but by the next morning, a beautiful young woman woke up and brushed a few stray ferret hairs from her body. The wedding was back on!

Some time after it was over, and Jackson had become accustomed to married life, his wife made a decision.

She visited the holy man.

She visited the magic man.

She visited the veterinarian.

They all told her the same thing:  Jackson was a ferret.  And she was screwed.

The End.

Source: Prince Hedgehog, Russian folktale

Posted by Beatrix Cottonpants in Folktales and tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
15Jun
0

Diamonds and the Dog Fairy

Once upon a time, there was a widow who treated her older daughter well, and her step-daughter not so well. She would throw dishes on the floor just to make to make the girl pick them up and wash them. She would make the girl zip her into dresses that were clearly too tight. Worst of all, she would often send the girl to get water from a well miles away from the house, even though the plumbing worked just fine.

One day, when the girl was visiting the well (for the third time that week!), she saw as she approached a small, skinny dog looking wistfully at the well.

“Oh, don’t worry, little guy!” she said, for she was kind and good and all that. And she lowering her bucket into the water and set it in front of the dog so he could drink. Once he had his fill, she dipped the bucket in again.

Before her eyes, the little dog began to transform! He was not a boy dog at all! Suddenly, a fairy with a tail and a long whiskered nose was looking down at her benevolently. She tried to avert her eyes, so she wouldn’t begin laughing at the fairy. It just seemed like the sort of thing One Does Not Do.

“For your kindness, I will reward you!” The fairy proclaimed. Her tail was wagging. “Now go, and reap the benefits!”

So she went, a little confused. When she arrived home, she opened her mouth to explain to her step-mother and sister what had happened, and…

a diamond fell out of her mouth.

By the time she had made it through the whole story, there was a small pile of precious stones at her feet. Her step-mother and sister were so clearly preoccupied with the gems that the girl wasn’t sure they’d been listening at all until her step-mother said, quite clearly,

“Real daughter, go give that dog some water. NOW!”

And the daughter ran off as fast as she could.

However, there was no dog to be found when she finally arrived at the well. She looked in bushes and in trees, and all she found was a cat, and she was so annoyed she promptly kicked the cat.

Suddenly, a fairy with a tail and a long whiskered nose stood before her.

“You are unpleasant and mean,” the fairy declared. “Go home!”

The daughter stamped her foot and demanded she be rewarded as her sister had been, but the fairy simply turned back into a cat and ran up a tree.

So, she began to walk home, muttering obscenities to herself. After some time, she realized she was being followed.

More dogs than she had ever seen in one place were trailing behind her, looking at her as if she had everything they could ever want. For a moment, she thought she’d found the real gift-dog, and made ready to rush back to the well.

But then she coughed, and this time, she noticed: a dog biscuit had fallen from her mouth.

“What?” she said.

Another dog biscuit fell to the ground.

By the time she’d reached the house, there was a small army of dogs following her. She only hoped she’d be able to explain the situation to her mother.

The End.

Source: Diamonds and Toads, Charles Perrault.

Posted by Beatrix Cottonpants in Fairy Tales and tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , ,
15Jun
0

How to Cure a Cold, Starring the Lion

Once upon a time there was a lion, and the lion had gotten quite sick. He lay around his cave for days, blowing his nose and leaving tissues around, hacking up big gobs of phlegm, and lapping out of the same large bowl of water.

Now, many animals from the surrounding area did come to visit the lion in his time of infirmity. They would bring soup, or a movie, or cough drops, but nothing seemed to make the lion happy. He would roar that the other animals didn’t understand his pain, and order them to leave. This was something of a relief for the others, because they certainly didn’t want to catch whatever the lion had got.

But one animal, the wolf, was something of an instigator, and on a particularly boring day, he went to visit the lion. The lion roared, and yelled, but the wolf didn’t move.

“Did you notice that the fox hasn’t come to see you?” the wolf asked, instead. “That is because he is sleeping in his own cave, because he is also sick. Only, he was sick before you were.”

He tossed around a few words about germs and how they spread, and then let the implication settle in. The next day, he brought the fox to visit. Now, the fox was just fine. No runny nose, no coughing. But the wolf had developed something of a sniffle, and couldn’t help snorting up great heaps of phlegm in front of the lion.

So when he suggested to the lion that the only way to get rid of his cold was to kill the other animal who was sick, the lion immediately struck the wolf down.

The fox was rather surprised by this turn of events. “I was just going to tell you to take a bath and get some sleep,” he said.

So, leaving the wolf’s corpse where it lay, the lion followed the fox’s advice. He felt much better the next morning, and to this day, he still doesn’t know which cure helped him, after all.

The End.

Source: The Lion, the Wolf, and the Fox, Aesop.

Posted by Beatrix Cottonpants in Fables and tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
15Jun
0

The Little Toy Rabbit

Once upon a time, there was a very special rabbit. He was bright red and made of plastic, with wheels beneath his feet and long string, for pulling, attached to his head.

But the very special rabbit had a secret.

More than anything else, the toy rabbit wanted to be a toy spider. You see, the rabbit lived in a room with two little girls and several other toys. The most popular toy around was the plastic spider. The spider was many different colors. The spider also had wheels and a string for pulling.

One day, the rabbit heard whispers coming from something nearby. Then, the stuffed bear next to him cleared his throat, and told the rabbit quite loudly that there was someone in the closet who could make any wish come true. Any wish at all.

However, there was one serious problem. The closet in question was all the way on the other side of the room. Without the help of having the string pulled, the rabbit could only keep up a very slow pace. And of course, the children who could pull the string were busy with the toy spider.

It took days, but the toy rabbit made it, and entered the closet. The darkness enveloped him as the door closed. Above him, he could feel the draft of heavy clothes swinging, and the smell of moth balls hurt his nose. But deeper into the closet he ventured, until he reached the shadowy figure sitting against the wall all the way in the back.

“Why have you come here?” The voice was ancient, authoritative. The rabbit was nervous, but he explained his desire.

” I see,” said the voice. Then there was a cough, and a cloud of dust. The shadowy figure began to move into the light, and the rabbit found himself facing a relatively tall stuffed elephant.

“Let’s see,” the elephant said, rather cheerfully. His voice had become much higher since the cough. “Take two of these and see me in the morning.”

The rabbit spent much of the night just outside the closet. He tried to sleep after taking the tablets the elephant had given him, but they burned going down. By the middle of the night, he felt like his plastic was melting.

He returned the next morning fully intending to tell off the elephant for whatever crock he’d fed him, but when he arrived at the back of the closet, the elephant just grinned and held up a mirror.

The rabbit had eight legs. He remained a red plastic rabbit on top, but underneath, eight bright red legs had grown, all with wheels at the end.

“There’s still some work to do,” the elephant admitted, “but you’re coming along nicely.”

This time, the rabbit made his way proudly to the other side of the room. He couldn’t wait for the children to see what he was becoming.

But something was wrong. He noticed it immediately — the ever popular spider was still sitting on the toy box, looking as if he hadn’t been touched all day. A shrill noise broke the silence, and the rabbit looked over at its source.

The children were fussing over a new plastic puppy. It had no wheels. It had no string for pulling. But it barked, and moved its head from left to right.

The rabbit didn’t know what else to do, so he slowly made his way back to the closet.

“Why, that’s easy,” the elephant said, after the rabbit had explained the problem. “You just have to kill the kids.”

The elephant offered no explanation, just grinned and slunk back into the shadows.

For a moment, the rabbit was very conflicted. How could he kill the very children whose attention he so needed? Did they really deserve it?

But then, the rabbit had a revelation.

The spider had been easily replaced by a puppy. He could be unpopular as a rabbit just as easily as a spider.

And then, the rabbit had a second revelation.

He was still made of plastic. And the elephant was plush.

So he rolled into the elephant’s side and grabbed a few tablets.

That night, he fell asleep with a burning feeling in his stomach, waiting for his legs to become wheels.

The End.

Source: The Little Mermaid, Hans Christian Andersen.

Posted by Beatrix Cottonpants in Fairy Tales and tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , ,
15Jun
0

Princess/Dr. Sheep

Once upon a time, there was a king who was not quite all there, mentally speaking. The King’s family and kingdom and the castle staff were used to his eccentricities, whether they included declaring random days “Pancake Day” or swimming in the shallow fountain with his pet frog, and considered him, on the whole, harmless.

Until the day, however, that he betrothed his only daughter and heir to a sheep. Everyone waited for the king to forget about the promise, or change his mind, but as the day of the wedding drew nearer, and the king seemed sure as ever that he really did want his daughter to marry the sheep, thank you, everyone started to get very nervous. Especially his daughter.

So she came up with a plan that she hoped would work despite how silly it seemed in her head. She informed her father that in order to be married, she had to have the exact the right outfit. And the exact right outfit was a lab coat belonging to the finest doctor in all the land.

He agreed, and she was relieved. After all, she figured, the finest doctor in all the land was not terribly likely to give up her lab coat, on account of how she’d be needing to wear it herself.

But it turned out, that Dr. Jane the Finest Doctor in the Kingdom had a spare, and was happy to help out the king. She had the coat delivered before nightfall.

So, another plan had to be worked out. This time, the princess informed her father that she would need the perfect veil before she could wed. The only veil that would do must be made of sheep’s wool, so that she and the bridegroom would match perfectly as they walked down the aisle. Her husband-to-be would be needing all his wool for the big day, she figured, and there would be none to spare for her veil.

Unfortunately, she had not specified which sheep the wool should come from, and her father simply sent someone to shear one of the other sheep. The veil was ready by nightfall the next day.

Having no other choice, the princess sadly gathered up the veil, the coat, and an old ring of her mother’s, and snuck away from the castle.

She wandered for some time, before finding herself in another castle all together, and, after covering herself with the woolly veil, she was granted a position in the castle kitchen.

The cook already there was a bitter sort, and always made disparaging remarks about the princess’ woolly exterior and funny way of laughing. The princess tried not to be bothered by it, but she wasn’t particularly used to people being mean to her, or hating her for no reason at all.

One night, she was so distracted by a comment the cook had made about her teeth, that she wasn’t paying careful attention to the soup she was preparing. Once she sent it out to the banquet hall for the banquet in honor of the prince being held that very night, she realized that her mother’s ring, which she’d been wearing, was missing. She thought back to when she had last seen it, and knew for certain that it had fallen into the soup.

Obviously, the situation had to be remedied. She needed that ring back, and didn’t love the idea of some unsuspecting banquet frequenter choking to death on it. So, as soon as she got the chance, she snuck out of the kitchen wearing her lab coat, and spent the evening lurking around the perimeter of the banquet hall.

Sure enough, when the soup was served, it was the prince himself who took a big gulp and promptly began to choke. The princess sprang into action, administering the Heimlich to the poor prince, and pocketing the slimy ring, assuring the prince she would find out where it had come from. He thanked her again and again, and begged her to stay and dance. She agreed to one dance with him, but had to run out afterward and return to the kitchen.

The very next day, unbeknownst to the princess in the kitchen, the prince began a search for Dr. Jane the Finest Doctor in the Kingdom, who had, after all, saved his life. The princess had no idea this was happening until the entire staff received an invitation to the wedding.

All the way there, and all the while they waited for the ceremony, the princess felt very sad, and she did not know why. Finally, as she played with the ring in her lap, she had a realization: It should have been her! The prince must have gone looking for the doctor because he read the name on her lab coat and tracked her down. What’s more, she realized that she wanted to marry the prince, even though she’d only met him the one time.

And so she did the only thing she could. She interrupted the wedding in a terribly dramatic way, and showed the ring to the prince as proof it had been in fact she who had saved his life. He exchanged her for the doctor on the spot, and asked that the wedding continue, but with her own name substituted for the doctor’s. And that was that.

Dr. Jane went back to her hospital, somewhat glad she hadn’t gone through with marrying someone with such a short attention span. And back in the other kingdom, the King decided to start a new career as an exotic horticulturist, and the Sheep became King. All agreed he was a wise and just ruler.

The End.

Source: Donkeyskin, Perrault

Posted by Beatrix Cottonpants in Fairy Tales and tagged with , , , , , , , , , , ,
15Jun
0

Why Fish Don’t Make Great Best Friends

Once upon a time there was a girl who had just gotten a shiny new phone/mp3 player/ otherwise magical communication device for her birthday. However, she was not the most careful of birthday girls, and soon found herself considering her new toy at the bottom of a stream she didn’t even know was in her backyard.

Not knowing what else to do, she started to cry, promising anyone and everyone in the vicinity she’d do anything if she could only have her phone back.

Soon enough, she saw it rise to the surface of the water, and once it was safely in her hand again, she met its rescuers: ten scaly, slippery fish.

But she was so happy, it didn’t even occur to her to be freaked out by this development.

“Thank you! You’re my best friends! I love you!” she cried and skipped home.

Later that night, however, there was a terrible banging on her door, and when her father opened it (she was hiding behind him), she saw nothing at all….

because the ten fish were standing one on top of the other, of course, and formed such a tall thin tower she couldn’t see it past her father.

But the one on the top explained what they had done for the girl, and what the girl had said. They were over for a play date with their new best friend, it said.

And her father let them in, reminding his daughter that she’d made a promise and would keep it. So she let the fish follow her up to her play room, and tried to think of games they could play together. Card games were hard, and board games impossible. Hide and seek worked for a little while, but she soon grew impatient with the fishes’ slow movements. She finally had to settle for “We’re going on a picnic” until one of the fish interrupted.

“You know,” it said. “One of us is a prince. If you kiss us all, you can figure out which.”

The girl didn’t so much believe the fish, but she was really bored. So she kissed every fish on what she imagined was the cheek (it hadn’t specified lips, after all. If fish even had lips). Not a one turned into a prince.

One did, however, turn into a llama, and the fish seemed just as surprised by that as the girl was.

The End.

Source: The Frog Prince (Also, The Frog King or Iron Henry), The Brothers Grimm

Posted by Beatrix Cottonpants in Fairy Tales and tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
15Jun
0

Hamsters On His Head

Once upon a time, there was a man who was charming, smart, and not terribly ugly. However, he also went about town with two hamsters perched upon his head, and eventually, he began to realize that the rodents probably had something to do with his inability to find a wife.

“Girls find them scary,” one informed him. “Look, they’re fighting up there right now.”

And indeed they were.

Finally, he met another girl who was able to look past his strange headwear, and married him. After they’d only been married a few weeks, he was informed he needed to go away for some time, since he had one of those mysterious jobs which sometimes requires going away for long periods of time without letting anyone else in on exactly what it is you are doing.

Before he left, he gave her all his keys and numberpad passwords — “Here’s for the security system, the front door, the balcony, the back door, the closet of tiny clothes, the speakers, the poolhouse, the pool, the greenhouse (with a switchblade in case that Man Eating Plant acts up), the oven and the robot butler. Oh, and here is the only one you are not to use. It opens that closet there.”

Of course, as soon as her husband had left, his wife immediately went to the mysterious closet.

Inside, hundreds of cages were stacked one on top of the other, all filled with hamsters. Teddy bear hamsters, Chinese hamsters, Winter white hamsters, Campbells, and tiny little Roborovski hamsters. They were fighting and playing and eating and drinking, and of course, pooping, which they obviously did quite a lot of, since the closet floor was coated in hamster droppings.

The wife was so surprised, she dropped the key onto the floor, and when she picked it up, it was all covered in excrement. What terrible condition for hamsters to live in! She made a few phone calls, and soon all the hamsters were on their way to new homes, save a few, whose cages she cleaned. That mess must be why the hamsters keep ending up on his head, she reasoned. They have no where else to go.

Just as she was finishing up, her phone rang. The caller was her husband, informing her that he was on his way back, since those good-for-nothings didn’t need him after all and didn’t have the decency to tell him before he left.

She panicked then, not sure how to explain to her husband what she had done. Perhaps, if he didn’t notice anything was different, she thought, she’d have more time to figure out how to tell him. She closed the door behind her and frantically tried to clean the key. However, it was full of tiny crevices and as hard as she tried, she couldn’t quite get all the residue out.

She tried hiding it at first, claiming to have left it another room when her husband asked for it. Eventually, she gave it back, and tried lying, claiming she didn’t know how it had gotten that way.

But he didn’t believe her. “You opened it!” he said. “You opened the one door I told you not to open!” And he rushed over to the closet to find all the hamsters gone, save one or two in newly cleaned cages.

But if she’d expected him to be thankful, ultimately, she was very mistaken. Instead, he only became angrier.

“Well, now you’ll have to die,” he said, and started to advance toward her with the little switchblade.

“What! Why?” Being killed over the hamsters was certainly not what she was expecting.

“You let them go! I’m ruined now! Why do you think I have these hamsters perched on my head?” He slowly lifted the hamsters to reveal…

a bald spot.”Now everyone will know! And it’s all your fault!”

But as he swung the tiny knife, one of the hamsters still perched on his head ran up his arm to his palm and bit him hard between the fingers. Taking the opportunity, his soon to be ex-wife grabbed the few remaining hamsters and ran for the door.

The End.

Source: Bluebeard, Charles Perrault.

Posted by Beatrix Cottonpants in Fairy Tales and tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
15Jun
0

This Sneaky Horse

Once upon a time, there was a horse. Now, many horses, if not most horses, are sweet and hard working. This horse was not. This horse was lazy and bad tempered. More than anything else in the world, he loved food, and he hating cleaning and lifting heavy things.

But, it wasn’t just any food he loved. While other horses settled for hay and lumps of sugar, this horse lived for pigs-in-a-blanket, tiny pizzas, and miniature bacon lettuce and tomato sandwiches. While other horses ate off the grass, this particular horse ate only off metal trays carried by waiters in matching outfits.

However, in the part of the world where he lived, horses were only rarely invited to parties where hors d’ oeuvres were served. Especially lazy, bad tempered horses.

So, the horse had learned to be a bit sneaky as well. He waited by low windows. He barked like a really large dog. He signed his name to guest lists whenever he could, but his signature always came out looking like a big hoof print and no one could read it.

He needed something more definite. He needed a human suit.

After a party one night, the horse snuck around back to the door where the waiters were leaving. Luckily, one of the waiters had abandoned his black and white outfit. With glee, the horse grabbed the jacket and ran home with it.

The very next day, he was early for a party at the same house. He was immediately handed a plate of chicken wings, and they were gone before he reached the floor.

The whole night passed in a similar manner. Miniature hot dogs, pizzas, sandwiches. Pierogies, dumplings, shrimp. The horse was more stuffed than he had ever been.

Towards the end of the night, someone called the horse over. He froze. Had he been caught? The man called again, and the horse did his best to trot over on two legs. Everyone else was leaving for the night.

“You’re the lucky one, tonight,” the man said. “You look big and strong enough to clean and pack up all these tables. Meet me outside when you’re done.”

The horse looked around. There were many, many tables. It was going to take him all night.

The End.

Source: The Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing, Aesop

Posted by Beatrix Cottonpants in Fables and tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
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